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Astro Wines

The Drop’s Wine Horoscopes for December 2021

The winter solstice is coming and that means feasting

photo illustration of wine bottles and astrological signs
Photo illustration by Pix

Disclaimer: Astrology is for entertainment purposes only. Except during solstice season, when it all suddenly gets real.

This month, Neptune, the planet of dissolution, has a bromance with Mars, the god of war, and misunderstandings abound. Take special care when cooking and make sure you read the recipe twice to avoid soggy cakes and sunken soufflés. 

bottle of Domaine des Ardoisières, Argile Rouge Vin de Allobroges 2019

Aries

Do you by any chance have a childless uncle tucked away somewhere? If so, then rejoice, because good old Uncle Charlie is about to leave you a bequest. That’s because this month the emphasis is on inheritance. If you’re lacking in rich, doting relatives, then go out and find some. Immediately, because this transit won’t last forever. The heavens are also speaking of romantic attraction for you, Aries, and saying you’re most likely to meet someone through something to do with your career. It might be an actual romantic partner, or just someone who falls in love with your work. Either way, spend a bit of time on your image and grooming, because it looks like you have the potential to attract a patron this month.

Domaine des Ardoisières, Argile Rouge Vin de Allobroges 2019 ($43)

Brice Omont went from Champagne to the slopes of Savoie, adopted some vines and the heavens spoke. This is pure velvet. Riveting. Pomegranate and bramble. Fresh. Delicious. A magnum is needed to watch it properly develop. Oh well … this normal-sized bottle will have to do!

bottle of François Pinon Vouvray Brut 2017

Taurus

You’ve been feeling the pressure for a while, Taurus. You’ve had to contend with Uranus, the planet of revolutions, hanging out in your sign, making you feel on edge. Taureans do like routine and comfort, after all. One positive effect, however, has been to make you reconsider your core values. Over the next couple of years, you will be asked to put your values to work in the world, which means commitments on all fronts, but in a good way — you will derive great satisfaction from coaching that kids’ team, or helping mentor people at work, or signing on as a co-founder of that business. Great achievements with accompanying contentment lies ahead.

François Pinon Vouvray Brut 2017 ($25) 

The great vigneron François Pinon died unexpectedly in early winter 2021, but he left his son, Julien, to carry on. Here is a wine that will show what the father, a beautiful mentor, gave his son and mentee as a heritage. Drink this creamy, edgy, delicious fizz of 100% Chinon from a Vouvray master and feel the future. 

bottle of Rateau Hautes-Côtes de Beaune Rouge 2020

Gemini

Gemini is the sign for which the phrase “jack of all trades and master of none” was first created. You are interested in everything and everyone, and always keep an ear out for gossip and an eye out for change. At its best, Gemini is about being curious and passionate about learning. At its worst, the sign produces dilettantes. This month is going to be a test to uncover where on this spectrum you fall, because the pressure is truly on, in all directions. You will have opportunities to soar ever upward at work, while fielding tempting social invitations, errands, and travel opportunities. Beware of burning out toward the end of the year. The best way to avoid too much stress is to fall back on Gemini’s special skill — gossip. Everybody will want to confide the juiciest details to you, so just sit back and listen. It’s much more entertaining than running around getting stressed.

Rateau Hautes-Côtes de Beaune Rouge 2020 ($29)

There’s one thing that the fabulously mustachioed Jean Claude Rateau does not do, and that is gossip. Drink this and you can feel the fabulous focus of a human who directs all of his energy into his terroir and his métier. A fantastic burgundy from the underrated slopes of the Haute-Cotes. Firm in its power, tradition, and glory. 

bottle of Robert-Denogent Beaujolais-Villages Cuvée Jules Chauvet 2016

Cancer

There will be plenty of reunions this month and not just the obvious holiday ones of family and friends. People from school, former partners, all types will be popping up expectedly. It’s like being asked to clear out your relationship sock drawer. This is all being done in readiness for the entrance of Jupiter, the planet of luck and expansion, who moves into your sister sign of Pisces in late December, bringing love and harmony. There will be plenty of hard work to do in other sectors of your life, with lots of demands on your time and attention. But when Jupiter arrives, it will bring the possibility of unexpected and fortuitous travel that will refresh the soul and the imagination.

Robert-Denogent Beaujolais-Villages Cuvée Jules Chauvet 2016 ($35)

The combination of joy and sorrow, hard work and redemption come alive in this gorgeous wine, especially if you can lay your hands on this 2016 homage to the granddaddy of the natural wine movement, Jules Chauvet. This exemplary Gamay is ethereal, yet has a layer of gritty tannin that makes it food-worthy. Yet it can also be laid away for the future. A star. 

bottle of Herrera Alvarado Chile Valle Marga Marga Rojo Loco 2020

Leo

Thinking about getting married? If so, December is your month. You’ve got deep and meaningful relationships written all over it, from soulmates who make you shiver with passion, to partnerships that will help you manifest your dreams. Those of you who work in creative industries like advertising, fashion, television, and theater will have creative breakthroughs this month that will open doors, win awards, and set you up with work for the next two to three years. You will be in hot demand, but make sure you retain control. Don’t sign anything until a lawyer has gone over it. This is your moment to shine, Leo. Get glammed up and enjoy the adulation.

Herrera Alvarado Chile Valle Marga Marga Rojo Loco 2020 ($26)

We should all have such a love affair as that of Chilean Carolina Alvarado and Arturo Herrera. And they take that love into the wines they make from their own vines, as well as those tended to by others, like this 200+ year-old vineyard that’s about 40 minutes from Valparaiso in Chile. It has vines the size of trees that somehow survived many plagues, some of them human. Ethereal cherry and snap. Just what the doctor ordered. 

bottle of Trediberri Dolcetto Dogliani Bricco Mollea 2020

Virgo

There’s a full eclipse of the Moon on December 4 that is going to land right in the middle of your personal prosperity area, bringing an unexpected change in your finances. For most people, this would be an ominous sign, as it would drop unexpected bills in their lap. But you’re a Virgo, and your credit card statements are filed, your bills are all paid, and your pennies are properly pinched. Abundance is about to be yours. For the first week of December, keep your eyes firmly on the pavement as you walk, as you’re likely to find money lying around. This is also an excellent time to hunt for new deals, and for the bargain of a lifetime to appear. Other people will shower you with hospitality, and you won’t have to pay a cent. All in all, December looks very satisfying for you, a reward for getting through this very tough year.

Trediberri Dolcetto Dogliani Bricco Mollea 2020 ($19) 

If you doubt the power of the stars, take a sip of this and become a believer. This wine is a gift at this gentle price. And if you buy less than a half-a-case then you’re blocking out what this month has in store for you. This drink takes you back in time to when quality meant something. A Dolcetto from old vines, fermented in cement, and raised in stainless, its blackberry enveloped in a chalk dust storm. An eye-opener of traditionally-minded deliciousness. 

bottle of La Clarine Farm Tannat Grenache Angle of Repose 2019

Libra

You look to be surrounded by exuberant, noisy children this month — or maybe just people who act like kids — and somehow you get burdened with all the responsibility. Never mind. After all, if you’re in charge, you can organize things just the way you like them, and everybody has to go along with it. And what everybody most wants at the moment is a break. It has, after all, been a tough two years. So cut through all the frenetic activity by insisting that everybody calm down and chill out. It looks like they will all be so grateful, they will rain presents down upon you. So make time to use some of that wonderful communication energy that’s surrounding you right now to drop hints about exactly what you want to be unwrapping. You’ll be surprised at how many of your wishes come true.

La Clarine Farm Tannat Grenache Angle of Repose 2019 ($27)

Hank Beckmeyer, up in California’s Sierra Foothills, has made finding equilibrium easy for you, by finding the perfect balance between two opposite grapes, the lush Grenache and the granular Tannat. There’s no denying it has that California-style burst of fruit, but there’s this other thing, the spurs that dig into the ground, with a structure that makes you get up in the morning. All here. 

MOULIN A VENT-DOMAINE LAURA LARDY-LE MONT-ROUGE-2019

Scorpio

You’re going to be hit hard by this month’s trine between Neptune and Mars. Neptune wants to indulge in dreams and contemplation, while Mars wants you to go forth and conquer the world. The result is that your motivation will feel like it’s bogged down in a swamp. The overall effect is that every time you decide to do something, you’ll either face a delay or a shiny new possibility that will suddenly appear. The best way to cope this December is by delegating all your chores to other people. Sink into a deep couch, let the Neptunian fantasies wash over you, and get inspired by all the new and excellent schemes that will present themselves to you. Since you’ve already got people running around doing your bidding, add a few more things to their to-do lists, and watch your life flourish.

Domaine Laura Lardy Moulin-a-Vent Le Mont 2019 ($29) 

Sink into the couch with this Beaujolais of character. The soils are pretty pink granite and the northern exposure of the vines keeps the wine fresh. For some reason, Laura Lardy, now on her third vintage, thinks of this as her glou glou wine, but it’s solid, both serious. The fruit comes out over days, and it speaks of dreams. 

bottle of Zurab Topuridze Iberieli Saperavi Red 2019

Sagittarius

You are generally considered the most gregarious and welcoming sign of the Zodiac, but this month all that light and wit is heading underground. December begins with an eclipse in your sign, opening the door to change, wherever in your life you most need it. Things that have been going on for too long will unexpectedly resolve in your favor, and news from the blue brings fortune, opportunity, and the chance to travel, as unlikely as that sounds right now, given the state of the world. But before you go anywhere, you’ll have to appease Neptune, who is sitting in your basement demanding that you think again about issues you’ve long considered resolved. To placate him, head somewhere underground. A dark basement bar is exactly what is required.

Zurab Topuridze Iberieli Saperavi Red 2019 ($20)

If you can’t find an underground bar, drink something vinified in the ground. Something made in qvevri, or which could be served at the renowned Gvino Underground wine bar in Tbilisi, Georgia. How about this jumping bean-like Saperavi, shot through with flower-power and clay. This is from the hands of one of the first winemakers to be able to turn around this deep brooding wine into something optimistic. 

bottle of Iuli Barbera del Monferrato Superiore Barabba 2019

Capricorn

Happy birthday, Capricorn! And thank you so much from all of us for bringing winter down on our heads, as you do each year when the sun moving into Capricorn marks the winter solstice. Wowza, what a birthday you’re about to have. Venus, the planet of love and smooching, is leaning up against Pluto, the badass planet of darkness and power. And you know what that means — tall, dark, handsome stranger time. Now, the only thing with astrology is that you can never see whether this is happening to you or whether you’re the person making it happen. So either a powerful, charismatic person is about to come into your life to change your destiny in wonderful ways, or you will suddenly find that you are highly desirable to other people, who will be clamoring to be part of your orbit. Forget the holidays, not that you ever stop working anyway — this is prime networking time.

Iuli Barbera del Monferrato Superiore Barabba 2019 ($50)

Never forget that wine is a fine companion, particularly this Barbera from a Barbera master in Monferrato, Piedmont. It dances, with a lift there, an open window with a fresh breeze there, and a flash of acid. There’s some purple plum in the wine as well. Dig in. See what you can find.

bottle of Ámevive Périphérie Ibarra Young Vineyard 2020

Aquarius

It’s been an enormous year for you, Aquarius, as you stepped into a new life chapter. But now, your heart looks like it’s longing to row away into the moonlight. Boy, do you need a break. Alas, new responsibilities are in the cards for December. It looks like you’ll be taking care of a lot of the family and friends’ entertaining responsibilities. Not to mention listening as other people detail their woes, expecting you to pick up the slack in all directions. Don’t get bogged down in other people’s stuff, Aquarius, because you’re still in the path of a powerful, transformative Saturn transit, where the decisions you make in the next few months will resonate over the next two-and-a-half years. Your career and business life looks set to accelerate, so be careful about what you agree to take on. And do book that trip.

Ámevive Périphérie Ibarra Young Vineyard 2020 ($38)

Drink this near the solstice and rejoice because it’s a terrific little wine to take you on your path. From Los Olivos in Santa Barbara County, it was created with Marsanne, Syrah, and Mourvèdre from a single vineyard planted in 1942. Powdery and perfumed, it offers powerful fruit, yet a light touch.

bottle of Frédéric Cossard La Chassornade Pet-Nat NV

Pisces

Neptune, your ruling planet, has been in retrograde for five months, making you feel like you’re being dragged through a hedge backward. But December sees him going direct again, putting things back on track. Sort of. There’s a snag — Neptune’s decided to go on a celestial binge with Mars, the planet of discord and war. These guys aren’t good for each other, as Mars sees the worst in everything, tugging the delicate Piscean imagination toward paranoia, while Neptune slows everything down and makes it all swampy and hard to maneuver. Long story short — give up on the idea of doing anything serious this month. Instead, go out to parties. The social part of your chart is lit up with fireworks and neon lights, as you attract entertaining, energetic people. Just remember to give everybody the benefit of the doubt, particularly if they make what seem like cruel remarks, because you’re feeling super sensitive right now. On the plus side, this is the perfect time for the writers among you to create a bestselling fantasy novel. One of those George R.R. Martin type epics, involving lots of cruelty, bloodshed, and high fantasy, that will soak up everything that the Mars-Neptune bromance has to offer. Oh, and you’re going to have a sensational 2022, as benevolent Jupiter heads into your sign.

Frédéric Cossard La Chassornade Pet-Nat NV ($36)

Fireworks need bubbles, and oh my, this wine may not be Champagne, but wow. Fancy Burgundy’s Fred Cossard is both a vigneron with vines across several appellations and a négociant with access to high-quality grapes, which in this case, he has used to create a fantastic mouthful of bubbles. From a 40-year-old parcel of Aligoté in Puligny, comes this lemony, chalky, exciting, and joyous wine. No bloodshed required.